Some anectodes from my recent trips

Here's some conversations I've had with my customers lately (both real and imagined):

At lunch:
Waitress: Would you like fries with your sandwich?
Customer: No, I'd like a salad
Waitress: That'll cost extra
Customer: I'll have fries then
Me (in my mind): THAT'S WHY YOU'RE OBESE [Ok so I was more of a witness to this conversation.  Not to worry, it gets better.]

At another lunch:
Customer: Can we ask how old you are?
Me: Sure, everyone always asks.  I'm 25.
Customer: Oh, good.  We had a bet going that you were 12.
Me (in my mind): ARE YOU KIDDING ME??

At lunch again:
Customer: How long have you worked for Meditech?
Me: About 2 1/2 years.
Customer: So did you start when you were 12 or 13?
Me (to myself): ARE YOU F---ING KIDDING ME?  Actually, I guess that means I look 15 today... At least it's better than 12. [This seems to be a recurring theme so if anyone has any idea how to make me at least look LEGAL I'd greatly appreciate some suggestions.]

In a meeting:
Customer1: So you're telling me that it'll let you edit the information?
Me: Yes, it will.
Customer2: We assumed it would be smart enough to know that we don't want it to do that.
Me: *blank stare and pause to compose myself*
Me (meanwhile, in my head): DO YOU SERIOUSLY WANT A COMPUTER TO READ YOUR MIND??  IF THEY COULD DO THAT WHAT'S TO STOP THEM FROM TAKING OVER THE WORLD LIKE IN AI OR THE MATRIX?  FORGET ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE EVERYONE, THE NURSES HAVE DECIDED THAT THEY'D PREFER A ROBOT APOCALYPSE.  And also you're a complete moron if you think that a computer will function a certain way because you ASSume it should work that way.  ARE YOU REALLY TRYING TO CONTROL IT WITH YOUR MIND AND HAVE IT READ YOURS???
Me (out loud): Well it was designed to work this way.  If you're interested in different functionality we can look into your options for setting up the system differently.

South Dakota

You guessed it... state #33.  I've also been to Illinois, New York, and Maryland this month.  Next month will be California (twice!) and Georgia.

As it turns out there's not much in South Dakota.  It's pretty much part of the BLAH between Pennsylvania and California, but slightly farther north.  I'm in Rapid City this week which is fortunately very close to Mt Rushmore.  I tried to take a picture of myself with the monument but they all ended up looking really fake - like I was cropped in.  Also my head looks HUGE compared to the giant 60 ft heads carved into a mountain which seems... so wrong.

Anyway, they had to remove 900 million pounds of rock to make the carvings which took 18 years to complete (from when the idea was originally proposed - 4 years to raise funding and 14 to carve).  It's supposed to represent the first 130 years of American history.

"A Monument's dimensions should be determined by the importance to civilization of the events commemorated....let us place there, carved high, as close to heaven as we can....our leaders, their faces, to show posterity what manner of men they were then breathe a prayer that these records will endure until the wind and the rain alone shall wear them away."  ~Gutzon Borglum 1930

I also got to go to Niagara Falls and see the cherry blossoms in DC.   Apparently they came early this year and were likely all going to be gone by the week-long festival.  They didn't hold a candle to the cherry blossoms in Japan. [At this point in the writing process I took 20 minutes searching through my email history looking for a picture I took of the cherry blossoms in Japan, but of course I'm in South Dakota and only have my work computer and my sent mail folder doesn't go back to 2005.  Maybe I'll think to add one when I get home, but probably not].